A Trip to the Dalian Orphanage

Disclaimer 1: This post will be sans photos as we are not allowed to take them at the orphanage. I will try to get one of the outside sometime, if possible.

Disclaimer 2: This post is rated PG-13 for graphic descriptions that might make you cry.

Today I went to the Dalian Social Welfare Institute: Dalian Orphanage. I held children that were about two years old and were the same size as my 11-month old baby. Most of these children could not stand up unassisted - some not even then, and I only saw one of them walk. They could not speak. The only physical indication they had of their age was the number of teeth they had.

They were so sweet.

When I arrived, one little boy was crying and quieted as soon as I picked him up. He gave me a little hug around the neck like Magdalena does, and did not want to be put down. There were 8 boys and 1 girl in the room I was in at first. Three of us western volunteers were playing with the kids and the toys we brought for them. The "nurses" there were finishing spoon feed them this noodle lunch, and only hung around to change diapers when we asked them to.

The poor little girl seemed so listless, I wanted to hold her and play with her, but when I picked her up I noticed her diaper was dirty. (Note: Diaper is actually incorrect as they have these huge dishcloth-pillowcase style things they use for diapers wrapped around their bottoms as though it were a turban - forcing them to be bow-legged, and certainly not helping in their mobility.) I told the attendant that she was poopy (I do know this word, thanks to having my kiddos) - but she just sat with the little girl (Jya-Jya) between her legs for about 10 minutes before changing her - texting on her mobile phone. I was not happy, but didn't want to complain because apparently the workers get a little irritated that we're in there playing with and holding these kids - possibly making them "look bad," who knows. Though apparently in China, orphans are very low class, and the "in-circle" culture (just think of the opposite of Good Samaritan) - allows people to just not really concern themselves with these poor children, so maybe they just don't care.

Once Jya-Jya's diaper was changed, I tried to get her to smile with the little singing doll I brought. She seemed a bit amused by my bouncing her on my knee, but no smile. I tried singing to her. No dice. Finally one of the other volunteers told me that she liked to spin. So I picked her up and twirled her around - and there was that glowing grin! It just lit up her forlorn little face. I also held her upside-down a few times, and she liked that a lot too. That worked for a few of the other little boys as well, since my mission was to get all of them engaged in some way. One little boy figured out how to put the shape toys in the singing "cookie jar" that I brought - something that a 2-year-old should easily be able to do! He was so excited about it and lit up every time I congratulated him. But none of the other kids could do it.

At another point, one little kid's dishtowel diaper started leaking poop all over the floor, and I told the nurse who came to clean it. She did a terrible job, though, and another little boy crawled through it before we could stop him. So I picked the boy up and held him out saying that he needed new pants. They stripped his pants off and gave me a new pair and I put them on for him.

Then I went to the slightly younger (18 months?) room, but also with some special needs kids. The two most obvious were this one little kid (girl? boy? can't tell - their clothes are not gender specific, and they all have less than one inch of hair, guess they keep it all short for ease of care) - who was rolling on the ground with a horrible scaly skin condition. It looked like s/he had dried flaking scales all over his/her skin - but maybe something that even just plain cortisone cream would cure. I'm going to do some research on this, maybe sneak some in next time. The other little boy that was really obvious was a skin and bones kid who was lying on his back completely rigid. From the teeth, I'd say 18 months or more, but again, size-wise, this kid was tiny. He had clenched his fists, and would only open them via prying and massage. He emitted a low moaning every time my volunteer friend stopped massaging him. There was another kid with mis-shapen ears, but I couldn't tell what was wrong with the other 5 kids in that room. I tried to hold them all, and sing to them.

I did not go into the next room - all of these rooms are connected by big windows, and they also have bright windows to the outside, which was good. The other good thing was the cartoon character paintings on the windows and the brightly-colored paint in the room. I looked into the under 12 months room for special needs kids, but we are discouraged from going into that one. I saw a baby with cleft lip - he smiled at me. It broke my heart. Magdalena's surgeon also does cleft lip surgery. This would be so easily treated in the US, but that baby probably will never have surgery.

As we were leaving, all the kids go down in their metal cage cribs with wooden bases that have peeling paint on them. The bases are covered by a small comforter type thing, no blankets or toys in the cribs. I guess they sometimes peel the paint off and eat it - maybe asbestos paint, who knows. One of the things we're trying to help with is buy them safer cribs. Not all of them slept, though, especially in the 2-year old room. When we left, one little boy was standing in his crib (holding the rails) and smiling at us through the window in the other room.

I am now helping with a fundraising event here - a Holiday Bazaar that we'll hold on Nov 27, to earn money to help these kids. Many things to do, many wishes - especially to help educate the workers to really play with these kids, help them! So that even when we expat volunteers leave, there will be more love for these babies. We didn't even get to go to the two other rooms - for new arrivals (infants) and one other young kids/special needs room.

It is hard for me to go there as the visiting hours are 9-11 am and 2-4 pm. It is over an hour drive from where I live, and Lucia's school hours are 8:45 am to 3:45 pm. Also, I usually only have my ayi on Mondays from 10-5:30 and other days from 2-5:30 pm. So today I asked her to come early as a special one-off, and left Magdalena with her to take Lucia to school, and I went right after that. I arrived at 10 and got 1 hour and 10 minutes with the kids. I'm hoping to figure out a way to go regularly - like if someone else can pick up Lucia on Mondays, maybe I can go in the afternoons when Juanzi is with Magdalena.

All in all, I have to say - I am SO GLAD that I went. Despite the slightly putrid smells of urine and feces that permeate the place, and the horrible radio stations played on their CD/radio (we're going to make some kids music CDs for them) - just to hold these kids and hug them - just to see them learn something new - just to realize how blessed we are and our own kids - like how a baby with Magdalena's craniosynostosis born here in China could so easily be dismissed to an orphanage to not "ruin" the family's one chance at having a kid - I can't even say enough about how my heart feels for these kids, and those like them. And how grateful I feel for my life and God's many blessings.